I feel warmer already.

I attended the retreat in October, 2010, about a year and half after hanging out my professional (photography) shingle, and about 9 months after our youngest, Ruby was born. With Ruby and my mom nestled in a cozy cabin in the Wasatch Mountains, I ventured out for two days of instruction, and more importantly – inspiration. (Sundance is also where I heard the inimitable Jonathan Canlas speak, himself a force whose thoughts on the significance of personal work left an enduring and soon evident impression on me.)

I felt so fortunate to have the chance to shoot beside Deb and Leah; to watch them work and soak up their incredible experience and insight. But the moment that retreat changed me – not only as a photographer, but as a person – didn’t transpire in the classroom or out in the field. It started with Jon, and his passionate description of the importance of personal work. Of shooting exclusively for yourself, and refining your voice and your vision in doing so. As anyone who’s met Jon knows, he’s big. His presence is big. He swept me up in a storm of wisdom and words and awakening – and then he was gone. But everything he said resonated in my mind, ricocheted around my heart. And then was echoed by everything Deb and Leah described over the weekend about shooting from the heart . . .  something that shows in every image they share, and the thing that draws me, and so many others, to their work.

As we sat at dinner that last night, someone’s iPad made its way around the table. When it reached me, without thinking, I pulled up my family blog. Not my professional blog – Deb and Leah had already seen my official portfolio. This was my other body of work – no polished portraits, but instead the sleeping baby, birthday party, trip to the zoo shots. But in that moment I wanted to share them with Deb. I passed her the iPad, and held my breath as she scrolled through several posts. When she looked up, she met my eyes and said, with what felt to me a little bit like wonder, “this is you.”

And I realized that she was right. That part of my photography – the genuine, unposed, “lifestyle” side was an inseparable part of my vision, and I wanted to explore it. More than explore it, I wanted to embrace it. I kept thinking about all of this as I returned to the cabin, where my littlest girl slept in my mother’s arms.

And in the dark and the quiet of that mountain retreat, I realized that I wanted something different, something more, from photography. After months of working into the wee hours to rebrand and reestablish my business after a second baby, I wanted to walk away. Not from my work, but from the work. I let the old blog slip into the ether. I launched the new blog according to our predetermined schedule, but then never looked back.

I wasn’t giving up. I was more passionate than ever, right there under a flannel blanket on the foldout couch in that Sundance cabin. But not about marketing, or networking, or packaging or any of the other parts of it that had come to consume my free minutes. I was passionate about my family and my photography, and finding my authentic voice in this medium. I walked away from the wallflower friends retreat a new photographer, and more excited about the art than I have ever been.

After more than a year of immersing myself in my family and photography just for me,  I’m emerging. And I think my style is continuing to do so, as well. I’ve lost touch with many of my wallflower friends, but I’m looking forward to reconnecting in our journeys. Maybe these, a few of my favorites from my wallflower weekend, will remind them of our time together:

Looking forward to finding what’s next on this horizon.

Now, I’m no stranger to a personal photography project. I’m wrapping up my second 365 (this one for Ruby) in less than two weeks! I’m used to the camera hanging around my neck wherever we go. But capturing an entire day was, well . . . a challenge. I enjoyed it, though, and I’m already looking forward to round two.

I decided to kick off this special project on a special occasion: Daddy’s birthday. The girls and I were home for winter break, so we were able to spend most of the day preparing for it. They love birthdays, and parties, and any reason at all to celebrate. After an early bath (get that out of the way so we can focus on BIRTHDAY!), the girls got started. Ruby did spend some time trying on underpants before the true party prep commenced – she’s not ready to wear them full time yet, but oh she’s trying. And not even two!

The girls made crowns for all of us to wear, adorned Daddy’s gifts with stickers, and made extra-special decorations to hang throughout the day. When Daddy got home, we all went for a walk/wagon ride, and then home for them to give him his presents. Wrapped up the day with dinner at their favorite restaurant, complete with an ice cream cupcake that Daddy was more than willing to share.

Want to see more 10 on 10? Check out Ginger’s first 10 on 10 post here!

Lifestyle images, for me, are better identified by a feeling than elements on a checklist. More than mere snapshots, certainly, they are works of art that typically target unscripted, entirely natural activity. For example, instead of posing kids in the perfect setting, a lifestyle photographer might tag along for a trip to the local ice cream shop, or camp out in the kitchen while a family makes cookies. She might not ask anyone to look at the camera, and generally refrains from directing the session once it’s underway. There’s a photo-journalistic feel to today’s lifestyle photography, and I find myself drawn to its authenticity.

But, I never thought of myself as a lifestyle photographer. Though it appeals to me in many ways, I have always valued what can be captured and conveyed through intense eye contact and other elements of more traditional portrait photography. Who doesn’t love a classic capture of their kid’s sweetest smile? I’m sentimental, I’ll admit it. (I blame it on my grandma, and if you want to know why, click here.)

As for my style, I like to think that my professional work often manages to find that fine balance of classic portraiture infused with the spirit of lifestyle photography. Recently, however, I’ve begun to explore “lifestyle” in more of my personal work, particularly in my commitment to a 365 project for Ruby that kicked off on her first birthday in January. And I have discovered that, in doing so, the distinction between my personal and professional work is growing smaller.  These images represent me, and my vision as a photographer, as accurately as any you’ll find in my portfolio. I look forward to sharing more with you soon!

This, ladies and gentlemen, is the new East End Portrait Photography. A new logo, a new brand, a new start. And all thanks to the brilliant Renee Swigert, of Ribbons of Red!

Lots of soul-searching accompanied this redesign. I wanted the new look to better reflect who I am as a person and as a photographer, what this work means to me, and what direction I want to take it in. Renee understood all of that, and then she was able to convey it in every element of the new brand and the new blogsite. No small feat, my friends!

Renee captured perfectly the timelessness and character that represent the beautiful historic East End of Boise out of which East End Portrait Photography is based, as well as my obsession with all things heirloom. All the things that remind me of my grandma, really. And the extent to which my grandma inspired me, and the effect that has on everything I am and everything I do? She got that, too. I feel a little bit like Goldilocks. Somehow, with her invaluable insight and incredible artistic eye, Renee managed to take all the ideas and emotion I threw at her, and make me something that fit just right.

It already feels like home, doesn’t it?